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This is one of those left over pages from the old site. For the most up-to-date and complete set of lyrics, please visit the official Lyrics Page.

Uncle Bonsai - Yellow Tail 10003

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Originally recorded in December of 1987, Myn Ynd Wymyn was made available on double-length cassette through the original Uncle Bonsai Mailing List and a few stores across the United States. It was intended as a thank you for the amazing fan support the group received throughout its eight year career and included most of the songs that Uncle Bonsai was performing at the end. In addition, a couple of older songs that were not on the two official releases were thrown in. It was re-mastered in 1992, with a few changes because of time constraints, for release on compact disc.

The Voice Of God

I thought I heard the voice of god
I thought I heard a voice from heaven
Saying "stay tuned for details at eleven
I'll be back with weather and news"

I thought I heard the voice of god
(She thought she heard a vision)
I invited friends over to eat here
(They watched the television)
Just in case saved and savior should meet here
To talk about their common views

For a moment
There was a shadow on the wall
But my cousin down the hall
Said it was only Elvis
Only Elvis
Get out, Elvis, get out
We were waiting
For a miracle to seize us
But if I know our Jesus
He was stuck behind his big fat
(Big fat, Big fat)
Stuck behind his big fat friend

Oh Elvis
Fat Boy Elvis
Thanks a lot Elvis

I thought I heard the voice of God
I thought I heard the second coming
But couldn't tell with Elvis humming
If there really was a vision in the den
But I figure he can always come again

Men and Women

I knew a boy who said that loneliness would kill him
Until he met a woman who could only give him pain
I knew a girl who said no love could ever fill her
Until she met the only man her soul could not contain
They were married in the summer
And they honeymooned in Europe
And they settled down near Denver
And they hardly said a word
They had two point seven children
And a palace in the suburbs
And their's is the saddest story that I've ever heard
I knew a boy who said that happiness was lethal
Until he met a woman who could cut him down to size
I knew a girl who thought that every man was evil
She sorted through her suitors with a venom in her eyes

They were married in the winter
And they settled in the city
And they worked 'til they were tired
And they always seemed to fight
But when no one else could hear them
They would swear their love forever
And whisper through the passion everything's all right

Men and Women love each other
Men and Women try so hard
Men and Women wander freely
Armed and deadly
On their guard
Men and Women fool their neighbors
Men and Women rule the world
Men and Women, movers, shapers
Men and Women, boys and girls

I knew a boy who said that love could never find him
Until he met a woman who would claw her way inside
I knew a girl who said that love would never blind her
Until she met the only man the darkness couldn't hide

So they were married for a while
But they parted in September
When she saw that he was changing
And he knew she wouldn't die
But she thinks that he'll remember
And he knows that she'll forget him
And they still feel they were wrong to say good-bye

Men and Women cling together
Men and Women sing off key
Men and Women wince at incest
Prince or princess on their knee
Men and Women sagging shriners
Men and Women flags unfurled
Men and Women, braggers, whiners
Men and Women boys and girls

He was a quiet man
The neighbors seemed to love him
He always smiled at the children passing by
No one could understand
What demons came to shove him
When he pulled the trigger
When the chainsaw started
Was it hard to figure
Was he broken-hearted
Did the neighbors marvel
At the sudden silence
Did he hate to carpool
Did it lead to violence
When they close the curtains
And they hide inside
Do they know for certain
If he lived or died

Men and Women stoop to conquer
Men and Women stoop so low
Men and Women filled with doubt
They scream about what they don't know
Men and Women host and hostess
Men and Women social climb
Men and Women fill the churches
Still the urges, kill some time
Men and Women take their places
Men and Women make some noise
Men and Women, well-scrubbed faces
Men and Women, girls and boys

Doug At His Mom's

Doug leaves his bride to be on early Sunday morning
To take the train to spend the holidays at home
Doug takes his briefcase and a bag of dirty laundry
He takes her photograph
So he won't have to be alone

Doug reads the paper as he rumbles through the country
He sleeps and dreams about the girl he left behind
She packed a sandwich should he happen to get hungry
She packed potato chips
So he'd enjoy the trip

Doug, Doug on a mission
Doug, Doug on his own
Doug, Doug on a visit
Doug, Doug going home

Doug sees the future as the train pulls in the station
A friendly smile from the family Chevrolet
Doug greets his father with a sense of trepidation
They take the long way back
They hit the cul-de-sac

Doug, Doug prays in silence
Doug, Doug plays the pawn
Doug, Doug sees the driveway
Doug, Doug sees the lawn
Doug wipes his forehead
Doug, Doug dries his palms
Doug, Doug at the doorway
Doug, Doug at his moms.

Doug's Uncle Sid comes out
To pinch a cheek and bend an ear
Come set the table Doug
His mother yells for all to hear
Go find a tie to wear and
Why don't you cut your hair and
So tell us Douglas will you ever find a real career
Doug's father shakes his head
And talks of girls instead

Doug greets the guest
And takes their coats up to his parents room
Doug checks the pockets
Then he goes back to the dining room
The door bell rings and then
Doug checks some coats again
Doug tries to smile
In the face of such impending doom
Doug sees his fall from grace
In every cousin's face

Doug, Doug starts to feel the heat as
Doug, Doug counts the chairs
Doug, Doug knows the children have
To eat their food downstairs
Doug, Doug sees his mother's smile
Doug, Doug walks the lonely mile

Doug, Doug hears the grown-ups
Doug, Doug passes time
Doug, Doug wants cloth napkins
Doug, Doug wants some wine
Doug reads his placemat
Doug, Doug feels so calm
Doug, Doug in the basement
Doug, Doug at his moms

Doug leaves his family and rides his ways to freedom
He'll feel the safety for at least another year
Doug knows his fiance is happy just to greet him
She knows his work is done
He's such a faithful son

Doug, Doug feels religious
Doug, Doug is alive
Doug, Doug is ambitious
Doug, Doug will survive
Doug lets his hair down
Doug, Doug on his own
Doug, Doug on the rebound
Doug, Doug coming home

Womb for Rent

Womb for rent
Womb with a view
Nonsmokers womb
For one or two
No pets allowed
No alcohol
No questions asked
No southern drawl
A private door
Come as you are
Like father did
In a glass bell jar
Womb with a heart
Waterfront home
Old world charm
For chromosomes
Christian types
Who bends the rules
Don't quote the Pope
About genepools

When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall
We'll get there quickly
Checkbook and all

Womb for rent
You bring the tube
I've got this womb
I'll never use
A bargain price
With wear and tear
Out going type
Some one to bear
Land of plenty
Fertile land
Balloons are free
At the kool aid stand
A place to dream
Of outer space
To grow two arms
Two legs, a face
A faceless one
A parent's joy
A sexless girl
A voiceless boy

I will be delivered
I will be
I will arrive and be counted alive
I will be delivered
I will overcome
I will overcome this
I will overcome what has been done
I will be delivered

Womb for rent
No kickers please
No rock and roll
No nausea
No allergies
No psychopath
A dream cottage
A quaint escape
A quiet street
To contemplate
A place to feel
The ocean floor
To ride the waves
Onto the shore
A parent's prize
A human race
With Daddy's eyes
And a stranger's face

When the bough breaks
Just give us a ring
We will appear at
Your christening

I will be delivered
I will be
I will arrive and look in your eyes
I will be delivered
I will overcome
I will overcome this
I will overcome what has been done
I will be delivered

In a sterile room
Just the two of you
With a bare light bulb
Father and Miss June
Nailed against the wall
In a pin-up pose
Someone knocks at the door
But you're indisposed

Womb for rent
Womb with a view
Non-smokers womb
For one or two
A place to dream
Of outer space
With Daddy's eyes
And a stranger's face


You found the road to heaven
No matter which direction
Across the intersection
You feel the open door
You got a nose for stores
Here in a town that shares
And everybody stares
At everyone who cares
About the shopping wars

The bible belt pulls tighter
Or it's the flat-land fever
That makes a true believer
Out of a child wife
Who seems to love her life
She keeps her man alive
By having what it takes
To carve a man-sized steak
With just a butter knife

And any back yard preacher with a barbecue
Can show the shortest route with just one hand
So every Sunday fool who strayed from Sunday school
To clean his swimming pool could understand

That it's a common future
The calm before the storming
The lines are always forming
The signs are always clear
There's not a trace of fear
If there's a blue light blinking
The parish pawns aren't thinking
They've replaced the cleric
With generic beer

We're all the same
We've all be planned
From coast to coast
We like to boast
There is most certainly
A K-Mart close at hand
We make a stand
Live day to day
And if we need another stray part
There will surely be a K-Mart on the way

And there are school yard dealers
In towns the maps forgot
You place a call and psychic healers
Put out all their psychic feelers
In the parking lot
And when the pavement's hot
If you can hitch a ride
You go to buy ad infinitum
Touch and try out every item
Just to stay inside

And any loser with a licence
And boozer with a cause
Will be anything but lost
Every town is just the same
It it's Broadway or it's First Street
Or it's Main Street or it's Church Street
The only thing that's different is the name

We live forever
We get to play
It is our destiny that calls
In Texas twangs and southern drawls
And when they tear apart the malls
The K-Marts stay
We foot the bills
We show no fear
And when more settlers come our way
Start making plans for extra K-Marts over here

And the churches were all empty
And the city streets were cleared
With all God's speed
For the Lord will lead all humans
To the store where all consumers
Go to feed
He'll take the stranded from their driveways
Down the endless business highways
On the path of least resistance
To the neon in the distance

K-Mart, K-Mart, K-Mart

You've got that TV smile
You saved another dollar
Another brand name scholar
Who's got a box of wine
You read between the lines
You made it through the aisles
Until the bargains stop
You'll take the cart and shop
Right up to closing time

We aim to please
We never stray
From start to end
We recommend
That everybody learn to spend the K-Mart way
We've got our pride
We're well defined
And when it comes the time to pay
Smart people head for any K-Mart they can find

We've seen the light
We're not alone
And any start that's half awake
Jumps in the car and goes to make
The K-Mart home
We've on our knees
We're well behaved
And when it comes to judgement day
Smart people know that all the K-Marts
Well be saved

Bedroom Eyes

You say
You love me
For now
For certain
You say
You think
I want
To hear
You say that
It's now
Or never
If not
At least
We're here

You say
It's nothing
Like true
It's true
Romance is
Not all
It's said
To be
You say that
We take
Our Chance
The chances
Will fade

It's all one liners
It's "How much better can you do?"
It's wine and diners
It's one for all and all for you

You say
You love me
That much
Is easy
You say
You'll please me
That's all
You want
To do
You say that
You'll take
It easy
It's not
The worst thing
That we
Could do

You pull no punches
You need the damsel in distress
Who'll play your hunches
Who'll be a virgin more or less
You'll spring for candy
You'll have some secrets to confess
You'll pour the brandy
And pull the body from my dress

You lead me to your bedroom
I can see through your bedroom
What do you do with bedroom eyes
You open wide your bedroom
I see inside your bedroom
Don't try to hide those bedroom eyes
Bedroom Eyes

You say
You'll leave me
Some day
With sorrow
You say
The world
Might be
You say that
You'll beg
Or borrow
So that
Might be

You choose the places
So luck is always on your side
You tie your laces
To get a look at what I hide
You make suggestions
You toast the color of my eyes
You show discretion
When you've exhausted your supplies

Why do you show your bedroom
I think I know your bedroom
I'll never go with bedroom eyes
I heard about your bedroom
I'd never doubt your bedroom
I'll live without your bedroom eyes

You wink, I wonder
What is he trying to sell
You think I'm under
Some kind of magical spell
You shave, You shower
It's such a packaging ploy
You crave the power
That comes from being a boy

What do you say to bedroom
Just put away your bedroom
I'll never stay with bedroom eyes
The end begins with bedroom
You'll never win with bedroom
I won't look in your bedroom eyes

Midas Touch

How many hearts have you broken
How many men have you lost
How many times have we spoken
When I couldn't get the point across
How many times have we stood here
Waiting for your prince to arrive
How many shoulders to cry on
Does it take to keep the dream alive

How many tears have you tasted
How many drinks have we shared
How many nights have been wasted
'Cause you thought that there was no one there
How many times will you call me
Looking for a little relief
How many nights will I wait here
Smiling in disbelief

You go home to your lover
I go home to my room
You go home to discover
I you've spoken too soon
I will wait in the window
'Cause there's nothing that I can do

How many times have I wondered
How many years it would take
'That you'll see the delusion you're under
That you wouldn't make the same mistake
How many times must I watch you
Throwing all your secrets away
How many men will it take you
To save them for a rainy day

You go back to your lover
I go back to my home
You go back to recover
From those evenings alone
You can choose where you find me
I'm so use to being on my own
And I feel like I'm lost in the middle
Just a little bit caught in the crush
Watching you working
Searching for the Midas Touch

And with all the perfect strangers
Who are vying for attention
You will learn that nothing changes
'Cept the names you have to mention
There is safety in the numbers
There is safety being sure
That there's a safety net below you
That will save you from the cure
And the only real advantage
In returning to the fold
Is the words you take for granted
And the shelter from the cold
You will back away until you're
Facing someone more familiar
Who will fill your dreams of loneliness
With promises of gold

You'll go on with your lovers
I'll go on with the fight
You'll go under the covers
Just to stay out of sight
I will be there like a shadow
'Cause I'm so tired of saying good night
Why would you choose
Someone who loves you too little
Over someone who loves you too much°
Leaping and lurching
Searching for the Midas Touch
Leaping and lurching
Searching for the Midas Touch


Folk Song

Take and E chord
Then an A chord
Then an E chord
Then a B (with a seventh)
Take an E chord
Then an A chord
E's a very
Special key

If an E chord's
Used with caring
It can lead towards
Something rare
'Cause an E chord's
Never daring
No an E chord's
Always fair

Leave the writing to the writers
Leave the singing To the ones who can sing
Leave the fighting to the fighters
Put a pad lock on the old six string

Take an E chord
Played with feeling
That's an E chord
Filled with pride
'Cause an E chord's
Not revealing
And the E chords
Never hide
Please don't sing. Please don't sing
Please don't sing another folk song
I've heard them all before
You've heard them all before

If your part is
On the keyboard
Then the E chord's
A special sound
And when your start is
With an E chord
Then the E chord
Comes around

Leave the strumming to the strumming
Leave the sing-alongs
For those with no shame
Could the folks be any dumber
Can't they see that they're the ones to blame

Please don't sing, Please don't sing
Please don't sing another folk song
They sound the same to me
They'll sound the same to you

If a C chord starts the chorus
Could a G be far behind
If an F chord doesn't bore us
Need the G be redefined
See a G chord is frustration
When the F chord intervenes
But a D chord's modulation
Is the best chord we have seen

Take and E chord
Then an A chord
Then an E chord
Then a B (with a seventh)
It's the E chord
And the A chord
That makes E
A special key

Family Restaurant

For a pork chop and a malt
For a cheese dog and a can of orange crush
For a host of smiling faces
For a smoking swollen waitress you can trust
Where kids burp out their orders
And they armpit-fart for quarters
And parents curse them underneath their breaths
A place where corn fed cattle meet their deaths

Where you take what you can get
Where you close your eyes, you pinch your nose and pray
Where the meat on plastic dishes
Looks as sav'ry and nutritious as the tray
A time for I-love-you-ing
And give thanks for what you're chewing
We never place an order for ourselves
The waitress serves up something for our health

At the restaurant, The Family Restaurant
Home is never really very far
You find yourself among the salad bar
At the restaurant, The Family Restaurant
A chance to understand your history
Where Beef is King, Mom's Queen, And Kids Go Free

While the muzak sets the mood
Mother sings along with Mitch or Mancini
While the waitress draws on eyebrows
In the places where she thinks they used to be
Where the subtlety's not tasted
And a lot of words are wasted
And the waitress let her hairdo go to far
While the dog is quickly cooking in the car

At the restaurant, The Family Restaurant
People say exactly what they mean
Living in a sunset magazine
At the restaurant, the Family Restaurant
A place that uses Mother's recipe
Where Beef is King, Mom's Queen, And Kids Go Free

It's on everything that you can buy
It's Velveta
It's the spam of the cheeses, It's sure to appease
It's Velveta
Just the name brings the tears to my eyes
It's Velveta
It's like cheese with a perfect disguise

For a cobbler and a tart
For a sherbet that the waitress recommends
For a Shirley-temple toast
To the chefs we like to think of as our friends
Filled with nausea and the knowledge
That there's money left for college
For the price what more could any family want
We'll be faithful to our family restaurant

At the restaurant, The Family Restaurant
A place to find out what your family thinks
Among the pork and beans and wienie winks
At the restaurant, the Family Restaurant
A place to learn about your history
Where Beef is King, Mom's Queen, And Kids Go Free

Julie Andrews

High on a mountain side
Somewhere in Austria
Maybe it's Switzerland
It's hard to say

I see the woman
She runs through the meadow
She's crying in anguish
She's turning away

Oh God...oh...oh...God

I think it's Julie Andrews
Julie...Julie Andrews

Maybe we should call somebody
Maybe we should put her out of her misery


Another Fat Song

See the huddled masses cower in the corner
While the people of position eat another pie
See them calculate the calories and categories
Counting up the carrots as the world goes by
Everyone remembers all the really fat and ugly women
Dancing with each other in the high school gym
And everybody's read about the fat guy in the Guiness book
And wondered what the hell was really wrong with him

Look at all the chubby cheekers
Checking out the chocolates
While the people with the money do the fat boy dance
Totally dumbfounded well endowed and so well rounded
Crying out how they're the victims of a circumstance
All the wealthy women who have recently discovered
They could satisfy a lover with diminished girth
Try to keep the secret but then ultimately leak it
When they speak about the heaven that is here on earth
There's a whole new breed of surgeon
Fully armed with suction guns
Hired by some health food virgin
Tired of the fat farm fun
No one's had the nerve to weigh her
No one's seen a curve for years
She can pay to see her layers disappear

See the dietician losing by the hour
While the people with the power take away her job
See her mutter at her California cutter
While he builds a perfect woman from a perfect slob
Why should someone worry about eating in a hurry
When the caramel and the curry can be cut away
Why not stuff your faces
If you know that there are places
That can just surgically erase your every milky way

See the rich girl fire her trainer
See her tuck away her thigh
See them make a vain girl vainer
As they suck her body dry
See her smile for the camera
Hear her thank her lucky star
They would kill to watch her fill the jelly jar

See the upper crusters drawn and quartered
See the plastic people rioting
It's not exactly what the doctor ordered
But so much easier than dieting
Stick a needle in the fatty tissue
Stick a needle in the derriere
No one else could take a social issue
Turn it into such a fashion fair

See the kid who's been so totally insipid
He's been saving up the lipids for a rainy day
Thinks it kind of funny that some hypodermic honey
For a little bit a money drains the past away
Everyone who's phobic about being anaerobic
Can endure the mock heroics of the surgeons' grind
Every tofu hater can revert to steak and taters
If he knows that sometime later he'll be redesigned

See the girl who swallowed fingers
Showing off her appetite
Knowing there's some nut to cut out every bite
Pinch a fistful and you've wrung the curtain
Pinch a fistful and your lover's gone
Why be wistful when you know for certain
There's a blissful way to carry on
Stick a needle and it's hello sailor
Stick a needle and it's hello friend
Send some business to your human tailor
Spend the means to buy your perfect end

Slip the tube
Into the sack of suet
As you pass the fluid with some tenderness
Greet the future
With a single suture
As you roto-root your way to slenderness

Stick a needle and you quit the fat boom
Stick a needle and you quit the gym
Join the people with the human vacuum
They will keep you looking fit and trim
Stick a needle and it's good-bye pressure
Stick a needle and it's good-bye thighs
Everybody needs a drastic measure
Every body can be cut to size

Taking The Kids To Disney World

If I see another smile
I would lose my self restraint
If I walk another mile
That would surely make me faint
There are people out there screaming
Tugging on a sleeve all afternoon
Why is everybody screaming
Can't they think of something else to do

We were out there on the freeway
And we thought that we'd try something new
Give the kids a little leeway
Thinking that they might enjoy the view
Why are children always nauseous
Why do siblings always start a fight
Nothing worse than being nauseous
Could it be another form of spit

We took all our savings
And we'll take lots of slides
We followed our cravings
As we swallowed our pride
We're taking the kids
Taking the kids
Taking the kids to Disney World

We'd been on the road for hours
Thinking that we'd love to turn around
'Cause the weather looks like showers
What time to be Orlando bound
And the kids were getting restless
Which, of course, had put us in a funk
Why are children always restless
Maybe we could put them in the trunk

We stocked up on patience
And we locked up our pets
We turned to the faces
That we yearned to forget
We're taking the kids
Taking the kids
Taking the kids to Disney World

Maybe we shouldn't be picky
Waiting around for Mickey
Probably off having a quickie
(Mickey and Minnie are mouses in lust)
Everyone knows that he's tricky
Probably slipped her a mickey
Wearing white gloves 'cause he's slick
He's strictly a mouse that you never could trust

But Mickey Mouse isn't so meek
He's on the front page of the weeklies
Hanging around with some sheik
He's less than a man but
He's more than cartoon
He handles the folks so uniquely
No one gets more than a peek
See everything's clean and squeaky
At the riki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room

We were terrorized this morning
Riding It's A Small World After All
And there should have been a warning
Parents must have lots of alcohol
There's a woman in a rat suit
Tell me does she ever get a breath
Always stuck inside a rat suit
Scaring all the children half to death

We battled the tollway
While they straddled our laps
We scolded the whole way
As we folded our maps
We're taking the kids
We're taking the kids
We're taking the kids to Disney World

As the sun was slowly sinkin'
We were clearly ready for the end
Still we liked the talkin' Lincoln
But not enough to ever go again
Everybody bought the mouse ears
Even though we tried to play it smart
Nothing cuter than the mouse ears
We wear them like the travelers' purple heart

We're taking the kids, Taking the kids
Taking the kids to Disney World

Then God Made Malls

When we were small
Life was complete
Wandering and working
In pastures of meat
Little to do
Little to wear
Mornings for chores
Evenings for prayer
When we were small
Father would say
Plan for your future
Every new day
God gives us shelter
Clothing and health
The devil will tempt you
With women and wealth
Then came the light
At the foot of the hills
It grew brighter and brighter and brighter and brighter
Men with machines
Building walls in the weeds
It grew higher and higher and higher and higher
Father was silent
He pulled up the blind
And said boys mark my words
It's the end of mankind
Father died broken
A man of belief
Winter brought frostbite
Famine and grief
But there was light
We always could see
To lead us back home
To set us all free
Then God made malls
And we were saved
The hills were plowed
And fields were paved
We found a place
To kneel and pray
With B. Dalton books
And Bon Marche
Oh yeah....ooooo
When we were small
We could not see
Father had left
In our hour of need
God gave us family
Then taketh away
The devil brought freedom
With each shopping day
Then came the light
With he sale of the day
It grew cheaper
Designer names
And video games
We sank
Father forgive us
We know that we've strayed
We were losing our will
We were lost and afraid
Then God made malls
And we were saved
The hills were plowed
And fields were paved
We found a place
We could just sit
With Penneys and Sears
And Spencer Gifts
When we were small
Life was complete
Wandering and waiting
In pastures of meat
Little to do
Little to wear
Mornings for stores
Evening for prayer

Me and Mrs. Middle America

We go to the bank
We run to the cleaners
We hop on a bus
It takes us back home
We set out the plates
We get out the dinners
We're making a fuss
We're making it warm

We loosen a tie
We mix a martini
We say our goodnights
Tuck everyone in
We crawl into bed
We shut off the TV
We're closing our eyes
We're dreaming of sin

Me and Mrs. Middle America
Separate sleepers on separate sides
Me and Mrs. Middle America
Middle American husbands and wives

We wake up the kids
We make up the breakfast
The family sits
It's family time
We mix up the Tang
We pick out the doughnuts
We shake up the kids
They're running behind

Me and Mrs. Middle America
Beaming at babies for most of our lives
Me and Mrs. Middle America
Middle American husbands and wives

What's the agenda for me and the Mrs.
Just passionate kisses and passive restraints
It's so delicious the way that the Mrs.
Dismisses her worries and hides her complaints
I like the Mrs. at family Christmas
When family dishes are left for the night
Family visits mean Mrs. and sis
Will persist in resisting their usual fights

We go to the mall
We go to the movies
We shine up the shoes
On Saturday nights
We go to the club
We go to the alley
We turn off the news
We turn on the fights

Me and Mrs. Middle America
Snapping our towels and flapping our thighs
Me and Mrs. Middle America
Middle American husbands and wives

Me and my honey
We're watching our money
We're losing gin rummy
And gaining some weight
Isn't it funny
How me and my honey
Are equally chummy
With people we hate
Me and the Mrs.
We both know what bliss is
It's mistletoe kisses
And wishes come true
We're never suspicious
Not me and the Mrs.
We both know that this is
The best we can do

We go to the job
We go to the meeting
We say that we'll vote
But never quite will
We stay on the phone
We threaten the beatings
We send in a note
When somebody's ill

Me and Mrs. Middle America
Tentative travellers with plenty of slides
Me and Mrs. Middle America
Middle American husbands and wives

Me and Mrs. Middle America
Mother's Day doilies and Father's Day ties
Me and Mrs. Middle America
Middle American husbands and wives

Big Chihuahua

The world is a big chihuahua
That's been put in the microwave
Someone forgot when you cook chihuahua
You have to poke holes or
You've ruined a perfectly fine chihuahua

Woman With A "Y" (Womyn)

Jesus was a women
Jesus must have been a woman
Only women really suffer
Only woman know such pain
Helen Reddy was a goddess
Even though she was Australian
She acted like a goddess
When she started her campaign

Adam was a asshole
Adam must have been a asshole
'Cause he couldn't satisfy
The only woman in the place
Eve was certainly devoted
As he plundered and persisted
Never thought if she resisted
She could save the women's face
And as Adam demonstrated
As he blindly penetrated
Eve would simply had to take it lying down
She just couldn't see the trappings
That the men had under wrappings
Still they blamed her
And they ran her out of town

Get the man out of the woman
Get the man out of mankind
Take the man down from the mantle
Leave the manful talk behind
While the man are on maneuvers
Let the mantras fill the sky
Make the world a place for women
Woman with a "y"

Mary was a martyr
Mary must have been a martyr
'Cause her God in all his wisdom
Wouldn't look her in the eyes
So he took her and he left her
With some jackass in a stable
While he boasted of the conquest
To the other holy guys

So the man takes his position
With the woman in submission
'Cause the bible says
That's how they do it here
So the woman falls from favor
All because some horny savior
Showed that men could come just once
And disappear

Take the man out of the woman
Take the man from manicure
You can take the man from manger
You can leave him in manure
While the men are being manly
Leave the man-o-wars behind
Make the world a place for women
Women with a "Y"

Intercourse - We don't have to have no
Intercourse - An activity we can't endorse
We don't need to multiply
Intercourse - It's a law they simply can't enforce
We are more than just y hobby horse
We are women with a "Y"

Take the man out of the woman
Send the man to Mandalay
While the men are trying to manage
Throw the manacles away
While the men are stuck on manhood
Find a man to crucify
Make the world a place for women
Women with a "Y"

dotsMaking Fun of Foreigners

Sometimes there's a morning
When the streets are almost silent
I walk slowly, I walk slow
And with nowhere left to go
I head out without protection
Just to try to make connection with the flow

There streets are always pretty
And I like to hit the city
And go window shopping, I go window shopping
And the streets are always empty
And I'm never even tempted
When I'm window shopping
And the stores are never open
And the folks are walking blind
And I've come to know the neighborhood
I'll never leave behind

Oh I never feel the danger
When I come across a stranger
If he's twice my size, then he's twice my size
And I'll ask for a direction
Just to see my own reflection
In his sleepy eyes
There's a wind that blows the papers
There's a pile at my feet
It's an early morning barrier
To anyone I meet

You can join me in the darkness
You can watch me from the car
There's a lot of peace and quiet in the air tonight
And we'll be making fun
Making fun of foreigners

There's a lot of time for dreaming
When the sidewalk isn't teaming
And I'm window shopping, I go window shopping
And the discount stores are warring
And the gutter men are snoring
And I think of stopping, but I'm window shopping
There's a lot of secret pleasure
When a stranger takes a dive
And the traffic turns the corner
And the city comes alive

And the misery love company
And the tempers sometimes flare
You can see the troubled faces in the morning light
You can follow close behind me
We can travel half awake
And we'll be making fun
Making fun of foreigners

I can lose myself in street lamps
They've been swallowed by the twilight
And I look the strangers right between the eyes
I've got nothing else to do when I'm alone
All these wonderful distractions right at home

Sometimes there's a morning
When the streets are almost silent
I walk slowly, I walk slow
And with nowhere else to go
I head back with no direction
Having made a new connection with the flow
Making fun, making fun of foreigners

°from "Chilly Scenes of Winter"
by Ann Beattie (from Movie Version)





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