Electric Bonsai Band - Yellow Tail 10005

20 Seconds of Pleasure, which was recorded live at Triad Studios, is a collection of 20-Second songs
( so named because they take only 20 seconds to perform), 40-Second songs (similar to 20-Second songs but.... well, you know.. .40 seconds long), and a bonus "Doug" song, "Doug's First Job." Some people have noticed, however, that many of the 40-Second songs take significantly longer than 40 seconds to perform. As I've mentioned in concert many times, they make take longer to perform but they're only worth about 40 seconds. Here are the words to "Doug's First Job" and "
The Weatherman."- Andrew

20 secs




Doug's First Job

Doug wakes up early Monday morning
And lets the dog go back to sleep
Doug hits the kitchen while his father sits there yawning
And he knows they've got appointments to keep
And they wrestle for the bacon
'Til the final bit is taken
Or 'til mother finds another little piece
And she smiles and pours the cereal
And irons the material
That gives her perfect boy his perfect crease
Doug greets the morning at attention
And ties another perfect tie
Doug checks his wallet as his father guns the engine
And he knows that they're precisely on time
And his mother shines his whistle
And then dabs away the clearasil
That Douglas spread on thick the night before
And she curses his employer
As she runs into the foyer
Just to watch her little man walk out the door

There is power in the uniform
There's power in the hands
There is power in the things that come so hard
And she says everyone knows Elvis
Everyone knows God
And everyone knows Doug the crossing guard

Doug likes to keep the children waiting
All single file in the rain
Doug holds his hand out and the scouts all stop parading
And he knows that they would never complain
And his teachers come to see him
And his friends all want to be him
And the women melt completely in his gaze
And his mother brings him sandwiches
And talks up the advantages
Of bread that builds strong bodies seven ways

And he could have been a burger boy
He could have been on fries
Tossing taters with the losers and the lard
But everyone knows Buddah
And everyone knows Merv
Everyone knows Doug the crossing guard

And Doug could have his pick of the women
Hey Doug could have his pick of the men
Doug knows the benefits of public opinion
And he hopes that it's a means to an end
Doug whistles for the underachievers
Doug whistles for the students who fail
Doug whistles for the principal who always believed
That Doug would wind up an accountant or in jail

And there are people you rely on
There are people you respect
There are people you can use and then discard
But everyone knows Judas
Everyone knows Sting
Everyone knows Doug the crossing guard

Doug comes home early Monday evening
And spends a moment with his pets
Doug hits the kitchen and his father sits there reading
And he knows that it's as good as it gets
And his mother serves potato chips
And talks about their summer trips
While father dreams of cleaning up the yard
And they say everyone loves Jesus
Everyone knows Cher
Everyone knows Doug the crossing guard


The Weatherman

There's a cold front moving in, or so you told me
And the barometric pressure's on the rise
And the moon on it's ellipse,
Is gonna bring on an eclipse
So I've got to find a box to shield my eyes
Now the wind is from a northerly direction
And the pollen count is finally on the wain
But tell me, would it be a hassle
To stop being such an asshole
And to tell me if you think it's gonna rain

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